return to sender

Dear Lovi,

I understand the weirdness of having to contact you using words that comes not from the mouth rather from the drops of ink. Nothing shames me that my cowardice at not being able to face you. I know I have always mentioned myself brave but today I choose to hide behind the paper. I choose so that I could be able to speak my mind without fear of consequences.

I have been planning how to put the words of this letter but no way seems worthy. It is true you were the best girlfriend I have had in a long time. You were not the epitome of miss right, you were better. Better because you are real and not simply an idea carefully planted into my head. You smile was tangible on the stretches it marked on your face. Your tears were real and made me feel bad for being such an unappreciative boyfriend. Your physique was real complete with boobs, booty and beauty. Your cleavage stretched down the length of your blouse and that too was real. Your words were real especially when they scorned me for the wrongs I had done. You were so real my dear and I am glad I shared your world.

I know I walked away without saying goodbye and for that am guilty. Am guilty of the results of our next meeting or of the time we bump into each other on the street. And so I swallowed my pride and wrote this letter. Even though you are tempted to think I did this because I know too well that malice cannot fly, lying dogs do not thrive and rotten eggs do not fry I would have tried to pursued you to think differently but I suspect your are right.

I want to apologise for the way I treated you. How I showed you what a princess you were before I had you and what a frog you became once you were mine. You can hit the paper whole day but let me finish. I wish to tell you that such treatment was unavoidable. Whoever told you men are vultures should have told you they are scavengers. It is not that I was a bad boy, it is just that I wasn’t the good boy for you and for that am sorry. Am sorry for asking you to do weird stuff to me so that I could shoot a video and share on Facebook. I apologise for introducing you as my cousin the many times I did. I am sorry for seeking blame in your actions so that I could break up with you. I am sincerely sorry for sleeping with all of your friends and even your aunt. I am sorry for calling you beautiful when you were not. I am truly sorry for making you laugh just so that I could get you to allow me into your bed. I don’t want to stand out as the ideal guy after our incomplete break up but I want to man up and own my actions.

If we meet in another life please look at me like another stranger who just wants to take you to bed. I would love to let you do the nasty things you did to me as long as we don’t go back to us. Being the good person you are I am sure you will accept my apologies and that when you meet a hot friend of yours you won’t hesitate to hook us up.

I hope that does it.Bye

Always

Your ex

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