Being a man the only way it should be

For some time I have been questioning my ability to write, as in am I lousy or just lazy? Truth be told I started this blog to be famous but currently the only infamous thing is that this is the idlest blog on WordPress. I cannot lie I do not have a million reasons to explain why I have been idle for this long. First, I was dating a Nyeri woman and you know how those women can make a man busy as in maintenance and all. Next, my dog wouldn’t bark anymore so I was on a mission to make it bark again and not just bark but do so fiercely; you know the bark that sends more fear into the owner than the unwelcome and occasionally welcome visitor. Besides, I was making up my mind on when I should make up my mind on whether to continue posting on this blog and the frequency with which that should happen. As usual, I was dealing with myself, finding me a drink that will make women look at me lustfully and men jealously.

That done, let’s get to today’s post.

You know generally am a very unattractive man and I labour to change that by doing all sorts of things and acquiring myself all sorts of gizmos reading self awareness and assurance books notwithstanding. All this still makes me hate the guy I see in the mirror, however much I change my mirrors. I mean he’s not that bad off and he’s not that good off either, he’s the kind of guy that generaly requires being told “you are wonderfully and fearfully made” to get the push to leave the house or adopt I a self-assurance gait. I have done this for the past forever and yet this guy hasn’t changed a bit. When that seems to fail I go down on my knees and ask God to teach me how to smile, a little light never fails to light up the room especially if the room is as dark as I have been told. I have drunk a lot of water, hot water and 6 glasses of them every day. I have showered with avocados, unsuccessfully avoided alcohol, chosen my women but nothing changes the face of a man. I have attended conferences that tell me that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder (the speakers themselves look a lot better than me). I have given myself nicknames- fabulous nicknames like man toro, blacky dockey, machunga anyodha but a name can only hold so much.

I have been a gentleman and a bad boy, arrogant and kind, hasty and patient and sometimes been plain me. I have chosen my friends and let them chose me but nothing doing. At times I have thought that my obsession with appearance is gay and I know that is what you think right now and forgotten about my look for sometime only to come back to where I left off.

As you can see I have done a lot of things and learnt my lessons. I believe nothing teaches a man better than personal pursuits for triviality and thus I have come out the wiser. I can’t brag that I am wise (we all know am bright alright) but I can share the lessons I have learnt, and right now only one is applicable

“A man who’s obsessed with how he looks is Gay”

Come ‘ on men are Walkers they walk no matter what comes along and one thing they always do is become men and that translates to being Rambos you know those guys who move from sewage into bright suits after splashing water on themselves. Men have beards, bushy beards and if you lack that then you are a little girl, one who squeals. And that is not bad anyway it just makes you a girl and not a man. A man stands by his decisions when they are right and deny them when they are wrong. A man is not a mother’s boy and worse a daddy’s boy; a man is best as himself and rarely blows his own trumpet both metaphorically and literally. And finally a man wakes up and touches his junk not to confirm if it still exists but to find out how hard it is.

 

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